The strippers/I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

After leaving Death Valley, we head to Las Vegas Thursday to pick up Trish, who waited only 3 hours for her chauffeurs to arrive. We thought we were done with the hot weather, but it was 120 degrees F in Vegas.

Thanks to Junior Beaver's great idea, we tried to trade in our car for a bigger one. How better to find a rent-a-car site than to follow a bus around Vegas?! In the underground rent-a-car location, we tried unsuccessfully to negotiate switching the car, and in the process learned something: we weren't supposed to take the car out of California. (Vegas is in Nevada.) So, we left the office, but not without taking a something very precious with us: free bottles of water. Point!

So, we were forced to play Tetris with our luggage in our little car.

And, now to find our hotel. VIVAAAAAAAAAAA LAS VEGAS!

Luckily, it's not hard to find the giant pyramid along the Strip of Las Vegas. But it's not as easy to find the entrance to the Luxor. Thankfully, Junkie is an excellent driver and a "U"-y (demi tour) extraordinaire, so we made our way through the VIP entrance...just going the wrong way.

Because we'd booked a room for just 2 people, Mad Wax and Trish checked in, after being asked by many Luxor staff if they were married and wanted to come back to the Luxor for free in 12 months. (True story.) Junkie and Junior Beaver (JB) had to sneak in behind them.

That night, we drank a lot. But the first time we felt tipsy was when we rode the "inclinator 4" to get up to our 12th-floor room. Fortunately, no one puked or passed out.

Finally, we got to take a shower. Naturally, Junkie and JB showered together. Then, we suited up, choosing the best ass-jeans to wear. For dinner: pizza, while Junior Beaver explained his master plan for winning at Roulette "for sure". Then, a walking tour of Vegas. We wore our sunglasses at night so that all of the regular tourists could appreciate our awesomeness. We went to Paris and Caesar's Palace and saw a musical fountain show at the Bellagio that was as awesome as us. Throughout the walk, JB collected a wad of one-dollar bills to use for Roulette

By the end, JB had collected 50 one-dollar bills and his pocket was totally full. (Is that a wad of 50 one-dollar bills in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

When we got back to the Luxor, we enjoyed a liquid dinner with our friend, Jack Daniels, and headed out to the dance floor. Mad Wax, who'd decided he'd already danced enough in the hotel room when he was the DJ, went to play a game of poker. There were 10 people playing, and he was set to win with 1 king and 2 aces, but the guy (aka bastard) he played against, who had only a 9 and a 7, got another 9 and 7. In the end, Mad Wax finished 3rd. Unfortunately, only the top 2 players win.

The next day, we found out that a second night at the Luxor would cost us $199. And so, it was time to say hasta la vista Las Vegas. But first, another tour of the Strip: we found the "wet zone" at Treasure Island, won 26 cents with the slot machines and made a new friend: Amour, the spatula. (From now on, all of our cooking will be done with love!)



Alas, we never played Roulette. But the cashier at the grocery store where we stopped several hours outside of Vegas was very impressed when Junior Beaver paid for the food using 27 one-dollar bills.