After Bryce and all the adventure in the canyon, JB the survivor drove the car to Monument Valley. Since we arrived around 1AM, everything was closed and there were no campgrounds available. After a failed attempt to climb one of the huge rocks to pitch the tent on the top, we ended up on a parking lot in Mexican Hat, this tiny town in the middle of nowhere, where we got waken up by dogs barking pretty early the next morning, and got yelled at (once again) by an angry lady who wanted us to pay for using her shower. But since we already had taken not less than 3 showers since we left San Francisco, we did not accept, of course!
Monument Valley is really impressive, huge red rocks lying in the middle of the desert, but since we had a long road to grand canyon, and because we wanted (for once) to arrive to the next campground before the night, we left pretty early. On the way, we stopped by an Navajo Camp and bought the Bear medal, which would later be known as the General Boy Scout of the Day's Medal.

After a nice hike and a wonderful sunset on the cliffs of Grand Canyon, we went back to the campground. What happened that night cannot be told now. You just have to know that the next day, PC was still wasted and did not appreciate being waken up by water guns 30 feet away from the tent in his sleeping bag.

The next day was just about driving back in the desert to the Joshua Tree park, where we spent the night, once again under the starts. Since we got there late and because of the rattlesnakes, we did not pitch the tent that one time, and preferred sleeping on the picnic tables. One interesting thing about the Joshua Tree Park is that you can see Joshua Trees. But it is also the boring thing about this park: you can only see joshua trees, nothing but Joshua trees... Fortunately, San Diego was not that far away and we got there in the middle of the afternoon.
(This post is to be continued because we are lazy...)

Like a lion in Zion

We arrived at Zion canyon at around midnight, as usual, maybe a little early for us actually, and decided that it was time to find a campground to spend the night. But because we forgot that it was Friday, all the campgrounds were already full. So why not camp in the middle of the nature? But as soon as we started to pitch the tent, coming from nowhere in the dark, Mr Power Ranger busted us and quite gently told us to move out of the park to camp somewhere else down in the valley. The spot he showed us was free, and would be referred later as Ant Land. The good news was that the Virgin river was just down the campground where we found a very nice spot. Despite Mad Wax’s fear of tarantulas and werewolves we decided to sleep under the stars. The night would have been perfect if we could have turned off the stupid moon that happened to be almost full that night. We were woken up by the hundreds of Ants that invaded our sleeping bags the next morning at 8AM, fucking ants! Between that moment and the beginning of our hike, 10 hours were lost, and we still cannot figure out how we ended up starting hiking at 6PM. (Actually you guys are partly responsible for that because we spent part of that time updating the blog).

The hike was cool and we accomplished our daily mission of spreading our awesomeness to others.

After the hike, it was time, once again, to find a place to sleep. So, we headed out of Zion and found ourselves in Ruby’s Inn. This is where we learned we were in Mormon country. (Fucking Mormons!) We set up camp at midnight and slept under the stars again – except Mad Wax, who slept in the tent to escape potential spider attacks.

The next morning, we were so efficient that we got to Bryce Canyon in time to start our hike before 6pm. We should have known better. This was the worst idea ever! The first sign that the journey into the canyon would go wrong was that we were surrounded by French people. (Fucking French!) One family in particular – the Cécile Family – thought we were so awesome that they were always following us around.

Halfway through our hike, we met the Fantastic Four who would prove to be not only very cool people but also very helpful to us. (The main reason they were cool, of course, is that the two women had great names: Tricia and Pat.) We talked to Tricia, Pat, Vince and Bob for a while and then set off to finish our hike. We were nearly done when Trish suggested – clearly joking – that Junior Beaver hang from one of the cliffs so we could take a picture of his rock-climbing skills. The next thing we knew, Junior Beaver had slid more than 10 feet down one of the cliffs and was

stuck there. Within moments, there was a huge gathering at the edge of the cliff. People were very worried, of course, except for one French lady who scolded us. But, don’t worry: Junkie took the time to defend Junior Beaver (while JB was about to plummet to his death) by yelling at her.

Thankfully, the Fantastic Four found us again. Tricia and Pat tried tying their jean jackets together to rope JB back up. Alas, this didn’t work: Junior Beaver was still stuck and one of the jackets was destroyed.
 

Finally, Bob and Vince dragged a huge tree stump over to bring Junior Beaver back to safety. Good thing we captured some of the excitement on video!

The strippers/I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

After leaving Death Valley, we head to Las Vegas Thursday to pick up Trish, who waited only 3 hours for her chauffeurs to arrive. We thought we were done with the hot weather, but it was 120 degrees F in Vegas.

Thanks to Junior Beaver's great idea, we tried to trade in our car for a bigger one. How better to find a rent-a-car site than to follow a bus around Vegas?! In the underground rent-a-car location, we tried unsuccessfully to negotiate switching the car, and in the process learned something: we weren't supposed to take the car out of California. (Vegas is in Nevada.) So, we left the office, but not without taking a something very precious with us: free bottles of water. Point!

So, we were forced to play Tetris with our luggage in our little car.

And, now to find our hotel. VIVAAAAAAAAAAA LAS VEGAS!

Luckily, it's not hard to find the giant pyramid along the Strip of Las Vegas. But it's not as easy to find the entrance to the Luxor. Thankfully, Junkie is an excellent driver and a "U"-y (demi tour) extraordinaire, so we made our way through the VIP entrance...just going the wrong way.

Because we'd booked a room for just 2 people, Mad Wax and Trish checked in, after being asked by many Luxor staff if they were married and wanted to come back to the Luxor for free in 12 months. (True story.) Junkie and Junior Beaver (JB) had to sneak in behind them.

That night, we drank a lot. But the first time we felt tipsy was when we rode the "inclinator 4" to get up to our 12th-floor room. Fortunately, no one puked or passed out.

Finally, we got to take a shower. Naturally, Junkie and JB showered together. Then, we suited up, choosing the best ass-jeans to wear. For dinner: pizza, while Junior Beaver explained his master plan for winning at Roulette "for sure". Then, a walking tour of Vegas. We wore our sunglasses at night so that all of the regular tourists could appreciate our awesomeness. We went to Paris and Caesar's Palace and saw a musical fountain show at the Bellagio that was as awesome as us. Throughout the walk, JB collected a wad of one-dollar bills to use for Roulette

By the end, JB had collected 50 one-dollar bills and his pocket was totally full. (Is that a wad of 50 one-dollar bills in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

When we got back to the Luxor, we enjoyed a liquid dinner with our friend, Jack Daniels, and headed out to the dance floor. Mad Wax, who'd decided he'd already danced enough in the hotel room when he was the DJ, went to play a game of poker. There were 10 people playing, and he was set to win with 1 king and 2 aces, but the guy (aka bastard) he played against, who had only a 9 and a 7, got another 9 and 7. In the end, Mad Wax finished 3rd. Unfortunately, only the top 2 players win.

The next day, we found out that a second night at the Luxor would cost us $199. And so, it was time to say hasta la vista Las Vegas. But first, another tour of the Strip: we found the "wet zone" at Treasure Island, won 26 cents with the slot machines and made a new friend: Amour, the spatula. (From now on, all of our cooking will be done with love!)



Alas, we never played Roulette. But the cashier at the grocery store where we stopped several hours outside of Vegas was very impressed when Junior Beaver paid for the food using 27 one-dollar bills.

General Tree! Major Issues! General Store!

After a long, very long road.. we finally arrived at 6PM at Sequoia National Park, regular time for a hike... And this was great!! But... after we spoke with the ranger at the information center, we realized that the tiny little line that we saw on the map several hours before was not a road, and that if we wanted to get to Death valley by the end of the night, we had to drive for seven more hours... But there is no way in hell that we could leave the park without paying our respect to the general Sherman, the largest tree in the world, 36 feet (11 meter) wide!!! And what is better than an amazing sunset to hit the road again a couple of hours later while listening to Zebda... Nous on est chez nous... 
We finally made it to Death Valley by the middle of the night (we are now experts in pitching a tent after midnight) and after a short night and a quick shower in the river (which was fuckin* cold, how come? it was 95F outside, and this water was not more than 60F !) we drove down into the valley. And guess what, it is hot as hell in there!!! But not hot enough for us to use the AC, it would be too easy! Death Valley is really extreme and because the temperature is changing a lot the nature is totally fucked up! The landscape totally changes within a couple of miles, from sand dunes to red rocks covered by a layer of salt... Since everyone else was staying in their cars and driving thru, with the windows closed and the AC on, we decided that we would show them that they had nothing to fear and went for a run in the middle of the desert, with a temperature of 120 F (49 C). That was a stupid idea, but we made it! 

Then, we tried to find a campground but apparently it is two hot to sleep outside, and all the campsites were closed, so we had to move out of the valley, in a tiny town pretty close to Ryolite, this former mine camp which is now a Ghost Town, yeah!!! So after diner, helped by the full moon, we decided to go explore this ghost town. 

Mad Wax was wetting his pants (that's what happens when you see too many horror movies!) and to be honest it was kinda creepy. After a couple of beers, we finally got back and got some rest... the next couple of days was gonna be really crazy!!

Nature and smelly feet

Damn, It's hot !!!

Grab a coffee or a tea, put your shoes off, cause we have a lot o things to tell you. You can also close your eyes to imagine the extraordinary landscapes, but it will not be an efficient reading.
So, we encounter the amazing roommates of Francois (100% organic) and his friends. Together we visited a little bit of Berkeley, the university, the cheap shops and of course the pubs and the clubs. But our appetite for adventures was too strong...
So it was times to leave big city to find our spirit with bears and rocks (not beer on rocks)

We took the road to the north.
Fist stop: Yosemite Park!



But you know junky and all his worries, so we decide to not come directly inside the park "because everything gonna be full" and we stop in the first camping site, right before the entrance, and guess what: That was an awesome idea! (Junky is really a great guy, he always has awesome ideas and he is incredibly handsome). Anyway, it was a huge camp ground without any shower with one tap water for everybody ruled by Jake, and ex-GI who was based in France in Poitiers for a couple of years in the 60's and who apparently had a very good time there, with Jaqueline and Claudette!!! After half an hour spent talking about all his former girlfriends, he finally gave us the authorization to camp there and told us his great secret: 2 miles from the campground, there is a huge waterfall where you "should be able to dive safely". It is already the sunset... nobody is at the waterfall, we are on top of the cliff, and it is really, really high... After 15 minutes to talk about how dead we would be if the lake was not deep enough, Papa jumped, and so did we, and dammit it was great!!! But now, the night has already come, we still have to build the tent, start a fire and Jake warns us that there are some coyotes on the hill, but that "they are not dangerous". But this would be too long too tell now...




Next morning, time to go in the park.
There is no words to describe what we saw. Just look the pictures. If heaven exists, it's gonna be close to that place. So there is something that you guys have to know about Yosemite Park: there are a lot of bears, and they really like to tear you car apart during the night to eat the cookies that you forgot on the back seats... So in order to prevent that, you have to store all the smelly stuff in a "bear locker", this huge steal container that stands in every camping site.



At 6:30PM, we decide that it is time to start visiting the park, and leave the campground for a little hike (I mean climbing a dangerous granite mountain, surrounded by bears, too easy), trying to follow a trail that we never found and finally ending up drinking beer on a rock, staring at the wonderful sunset on the other side of the valley. Back to the campground, we decide that we really want to see a bear, and that the best way to do so would be to attract it close to us, and what is better for that than a banana coated with honey that we put right in front of our tent before we went to sleep... oh and of course we did not sleep in the tent, so that we may see the bear coming, so we decided just to sleep in our sleeping bags on the tarp... Unfortunately, no bears came, and the only entertainement of the night was Adrian, our Romanian neighbour, whom we made discover Pastis, and got totally wasted drinking it... pretty cool too, after all (Cochon Francais!!!).

On est partis!!!

Hey everyone,

Pc and Antoine arrived two 2 days ago. They changed their flight because of over booking, and NWA nicely give 'em 500 euros !First nights, first parties, first jet flag. so the firt day i California was long, actually something like 30 hour without sleeping.
so after te landing, because Antoine didn't shave himself he won a great questionnary.

Finaly we met everybody in the Francois's appartment, and directly the visit of the famous university of Berkeley, and the hippy mouvment (including the Jimi Hendrix last shits).

After that a great party in San Francisco by night to endin it in the treasure island with a great view of San Francisco.
So now, Sunday 1PM time to leave to Yosemite Park.
See you soon
Keep smiling

A bit of help

Hello everybody.
I gonna need the help to all the Spanish speakers and English speakers.
But actually mainly the Spanish one.
So, as you know now we gonna travel in the north of Mexico, and we doesn't really speak Spanish.
So you have to teach us some useful, cool and funny sentences in the Mexican version of Spanish.
So if you can write a comment with some short sentences in Spanish, the way to pronounce it and the meaning it would help us a lot.
But we want some funny sentences, to really show of.

And also, if you want to give us some American funny expression it's always cool.

Guys I send you a huge kiss
Keep smiling.

Bring it on, baby...

Hey Hey Hey thick haired beavers !!!

Here we go again! After terrifying the police of Dijon, devastating the lowlands of Canada, sleping on roofs in New York, drying all Netherlands, then THE MERCENARIES leave again for new adventures!!!

This time they continue to spray their smells and their good manners on the North-American continent: California and Nevada put on in a state of alert and it parried that Mexico closed its borders in foresight. Nostradamus and Paco Rabanne hadn't seen it coming!!!

Predictions are in the fine weather: departure July 10th for 15 hours of plane (we hope that they have supplies of alcohol), then join François in a bar and leave immediatly for the Yosémite National Park, Sequoia Park, Kings Canyon, Death Valley (we must make a jogging and kill one or two rattlesnakes). Then we have a rendez-vous with Trish in Las Vegas where everybody is hoping to marry her! Then re-departure southward: Salton Sea, the desert of Mojave and Mexico!!! Its mescal, its tequila, its ponchos, its risks of losing a kidney in every siesta... They don't know with whom they are dealing, the chicanos! And finally we go back up by San Diego, L.A., the Pacific coast and San Fransisco where the sleep of the righteous men will wait for us.

Tons of surprises are just waiting for us, rattlesnakes, adventures and unconvincing meetings overthere!

DEPARTURE IN 3 WEEKS!!!

We gonna continue to post, keep the site pretty, will have opinion polls and games, hundreds of photos and videos.

IT'S GONNA BE LEGEN... (wait for it)... DARY !!!!

The Mercenaries.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Hey Hey les castors à poils drus !

C'est reparti pour un tour ! Après avoir terrifié la police de Dijon, ravagé les plaines du Canada, dormi sur les toits New Yorkais, éclusé tous les Pays Bas, voilà que LES MERCENAIRES repartent pour de nouvelles aventures !!!

Cette fois ci ils continuent à réprendre leurs odeurs et leurs bonnes manières sur le continent nord américain : la Californie et le Nevada se sont mis en état d'alerte et il parait que le Mexique a fermé ses frontières en prévoyance. Nostradamus et Paco Rabanne l'avaient pas vu venir !!!

Les prévisions sont au beau fixe : départ le 10 Juillet pour 15 heures d'avion (faut espérer qu'ils aient des provisions d'alcool), on rejoint François dans un bar et on part direct pour le parc Yosémite, puis Sequoia Park, Kings Canyon, Death Valley (on dois se faire un footing et tuer un ou deux serpent à sonnettes). On a ensuite rendez-vous avec Trish à Las Vegas ou on compte bien se marier avec elle ! Puis re-départ vers le sud : Salton Sea, le désert du Mojave et le Mexique !!! Son mescal, sa téquila, ses ponchos, ses risques de perdre un rein à chaque sieste... Ils savent pas à qui ils ont affaire les chicanos ! Et enfin on remonte vers le nord par San Diego, L.A., la côte pacifique et San Francisco ou le sommeil des justes nous attendra.

Plein de surprises nous attendes là bas, de serpents à sonnettes, d'aventures et de rencontres incroyables !

DEPART DANS 3 SEMAINES !!!

On vous tient au courant, on va bien animer le site, y'aura des sondages et des jeux, des tonnes de photos et de vidéos.

IT'S GONNA BE LEGEN... (wait for it)... DARY !!!!

Les mercenaires.